Myanmar Love Stories
The Fear Of Love Part 2
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We took turns to call each other and my feelings for him
grew. Deep within my heart, I knew that he loves me and
I love him. We weren't dating but we were best friends.
He'll say something to make me laugh whenever I was stressed
or troubled because he knew that laughing always made me
forget about my problems. We continued talking over the
phone for three more years.
Soon, I was in the first year of college and he was in
his third year. Throughout the years, we talked over the
phone very often but we hadn't seen each other since that
last day of Hmong New Year. My feelings for him became very
strong and I love him so much that the thought of losing
him kills me inside.
One night, I couldn't hold it anymore and decided that
I had to let him know. I called him and he picked up the
“Oh hi, how's your day?"
"It's okay. I'm just catching up on my homework."
“I’ve been staying up late.”
I wanted to tell him how I felt about him but my fear started
kicking in. I was afraid that he might not feel the same
for me because of what happened five years ago. Hence, I
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Three months later, he called and asked if he can visit
me as he would be in town for a while. He came over and
we went out to watch a movie together. Later that night,
he asked me how I felt about him and if I love him. I was
scared to let him know how I felt about him and so I said
that I had no feelings for him. He didn't speak a word as
he drove me home in silence.
He left a note for me before leaving for home the following
To my one and only beloved,
Do you know how much I love you? Do you know how much you
mean to me? I care so much for you that every night before
I go to bed, I pray to heavenly father to protect you and
let you know that I will always be by your side to hold
and protect you.
I fell in love with you the first time we met. You were
so pretty and had a great personality. Even though we weren't
able to build a relationship, we had a great friendship.
I couldn't ask for more. Although I wanted us to be more
than just best friends, I know you won't let us.
There are times when I felt that you love me deeply and
there are times when I felt that you just wanted me as your
friend. Either way, I will always love you and be there
for you. Please remember that I am here to hold and protect
you when you are troubled. I want you to remember that you're
the only one I love and cherish. There's no other girl who
can take your place in my heart. I love you until the end
of my life.
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I couldn't control my tears as they streamed down my cheeks
continuously until my eyes started burning. I tried to call
him but his roommate said that he wasn’t home yet.
I figured it would take him awhile to get home so I decide
to call him the following day and tell him that I love him.
The phone rang for forever the following day when I tried
calling him again. When his roommate finally picked up,
he told me something crucifying. Chang Yang was involved
in an accident on his way home as he was drink driving.
When I heard what the roommate said, my heart stopped and
I couldn't breathe at all. At that moment, it felt as if
my life was sapped out of me.
It's been two years now and I am still unable to get over
it. It’s like losing a part of yourself when you lose
someone that you love and were so close to. I finally know
that when you love someone, don't wait till tomorrow to
let them know because tomorrow is not a promise. I don't
think I could ever love anyone again. He was everything
to me. He was my best friend, lover and soul.
I love you, Chang Yang wherever you are and will continue
to love you until we meet again. No other guy can take your
place in my heart. I love you forever.
For those who are reading my tragic story, please don't
do what I did. Remember to let them know when you love someone
or else it will be too late. Never let your fear take over
because it will take away your joy and happiness away. Don't
learn it the hard way as I did. It hurts a lot. I regret
not saying those three words earlier. He's never going to
know my true feelings. Good luck to all lovers out there.
Love deeply and let each other know how you feel about one
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